Tag Archives: poetry

Musa

I.

it is in distance i come
very close to her,
the guilt more real
and unforgiving —
a moment quivering
with so much nearness.
her breath hot on my face,
scent caressing my lips,
the magic of the reach
between us haunts this hour
when sins are too holy
for their meanings,
too pure for the dark.
she is a miracle, a vocabulary
born of the wind.

II.

it’s already night,
the tired body wanting
to feel the dreams on the bed,
the arms longing to embrace
the language of pillows.
but, here i am with pen in one hand
and paper in the other
with thoughts of the muse
flowing from the liquid wind.

she was there beside me,
skin to skin, separated only
by the games of names.
our silence was melody
still playing, searching
for the lyrics.

but, i can only fill
the page with distances
toward the next music,
toward a landmark planted
with another song.

III.

have you seen her? she was here a while ago, connecting the telling universe
to the page, some love electric, the planets, suns and stars
revolving, gliding in a quickened sleep into the dream on paper.
the tongued storm with voice of all eyes, with the rhythm of entire
petal force empirely spinning in one gentle touch. and touch
of hair is flowing ocean to the depths of its engulfing mystery, the waves
connecting shores, glowing darkly with the moon on her flowering
wingertips, dancing at the heart of the hurricane; while the unicorn
swiftly to the target of its rare eyes — all blooming
universes a giant rose opening its palms to the God
of the atom and to the Lord of the shading suns. there
into the sex of the night the cities wood the gentle kiss.
love of all love is a woman mystery, who accompanies
one sip of coffee with her Genesis smile, simply the heart
is pure to love, too pure to sin, too, such pureness
here touching the face, till summer storm wipes
tears from the skies. have i told you before there is so much
to tell in the wide-eyed loneliness of her arrival?
i shall meet her, oh i shall meet her and whistle
a happy tune, lovely melody of our oneness. why oh why
you should ask. i shall tell you about the lingering
scent, the traces of her perfume on my skin, and my eyes —
there she is, the dream imprinted in my eyes, oh and to touch
her is like strumming the bent night for melodious wind. and you
say I’m clever, clever for loving her, loving her.

have you not seen her? what of miracle and song when
she walks, the road palms of winged angels,
deeply thirsting as every fleeting step performs heavenly music.
i sing about her. my soul sings about her.

IV.

she feels good about herself.
she’s all natural, all beautiful inside-out.
her smile plucks stars from orbit.
like a whisper, her eyes hourless but momentful
in her free-verse walk.

there’s her heart, ageless youth,
words gently, easy-speak in her eyes,
divine is her voice
kind is her skin to touch.

thoughts caressing in their free time,
surfing on the surge of life,
playing in the balance
when truth edges to wound
but fails because it simply
cannot be so true.

in her free-verse walk,
like a whisper, her eyes hourless but momentful.
her smile plucks stars from orbit.
she’s all natural, all beautiful inside-out,
she feels good about herself.

Copyright (C) 2008, Edwin M. Cordevilla

easter

in this dream
I’m looking at an old family photo
25-year-old black + white
mother father brother + me
the classic easter pose in the yard
outside grandpa + grandma’s house
my focus is on my dad
he’s so young
younger than I am now
and he looks so scared!

I feel compassion + tenderness for this
frightened young man who took on too much
a family he was ill-prepared to handle.

I know some of his fear
I feel it myself in my own life every day
the fear of being a bad father
the fear of being a father too soon
the fear of losing my life + my dreams to
the demands of a wife + a child
he has good reason to be afraid
he looks lonely
no one’s taught him how to do this
nobody’s backing him up.

I feel his loneliness + his fear for the first time
not in my head but in my heart + my gut
I’m surprised to feel such thorough compassion for him
as he was at that time
I’m so used to hating the man I knew as my father
angry insensitive frightening hateful cruel
I don’t feel comfortable identifying with
this man I’ve cast as my personal demon.

this dream frightens me because I’m afraid I’m like him
but it also encourages me
it tells me that
maybe I’m beginning to see him as a person
instead of a demon
maybe I’m beginning to let go of him at last.

_____________________

Excerpted from Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood by Rick Belden. Copyright © 1990, 2008 by Rick Belden.

elephant dream

I have in my care three elephants
two males
one female
they are very sick
from too much time in the heat of the sun
they’ve come to a place of shade and safety now
but they’re dying
the female is the sickest.

they have large ragged holes in their skins
burned into them by an unforgiving sun
weak and withered
dried and dying
drained of power
they wait and they suffer.

I’ve noticed them only recently
I know that without my help
their time is short.

I haven’t been trained to care for these holy creatures
so I ask others for help
one well-intentioned man
young bureaucrat in uniform
suggests a cage for shade and safety
they’re dying! I remind him
but they’ll be very safe he says.

others are not interested at all
some make jokes
this is urgent!
who will help me?

these animals need water
lots of it
more than I can ever provide
with the old buckets once used by
my father
my uncles
my grandfathers
elephants have other needs too
but water is basic and must come first.

I’m desperate
time is short
I walk up a slow hill on a back country road
(I’ve walked this road in younger days)
looking for someone to help me save these sacred beasts.

_____________________

Excerpted from Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood by Rick Belden. Copyright © 1990, 2008 by Rick Belden.

god at eleven

god is an overdue library book
an empty sardine can
an angry santa claus.

god is a school bus full of strangers
a sixty on the test
a dad who’s always pissed
a mom with scar tissue.

god is a prison guard with rheumatic fever
a flying squirrel in a cage
a deformed colt in a field
a member of the john birch society.

god still lives with his parents
he fights with his brother over pigs
drives a milk truck on saturday to make ends meet
makes me wear an athletic supporter
watches hee-haw and listens to country music
on the radio.

god has a workshop in the basement
he picks the dump and smokes white owls
takes his teeth out when he eats
makes me cry in front of the whole class
stands in our driveway and tells my dad
he’s no good.

god wants to punish me for something I didn’t do.

_____________________

Excerpted from Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood by Rick Belden. Copyright © 1990, 2008 by Rick Belden.

Precious

Today is the day that you were born
My precious baby.
Today is the day that you were born.
My precious girl.

I don’t know what star I wished upon
My precious baby.
I don’t know what star I wished upon
My precious girl

But my wish has come true
My precious baby.
But my wish has come true
My precious girl.

Because now I’ve got you
My precious baby.
Because now I’ve got you.
My precious girl.

(Written on my daughter’s fifth birthday.)

Does It Matter

Does it matter
That I’m from
A different place
Though born
In the same nation?
That my influences
Are sun and sea
And the strictness of West Indian life
Not the cold grey laxity of the British way?

Does it matter
That I learned
A brighter grammar
And the Queen’s so-called English
That I went to school
And stayed in school
That I don’t smoke
And hardly drink
But can still have a good time?

Does it matter
That my skin’s
A different colour?
Though my thoughts
Are much the same,
You’ll never know,
Repelled by external differences.

Does it matter?
It obviously
Matters
To you.

Not For Ladies

Pregnancy is not for ladies
Check your self-esteem at the door
It’s not so obvious at the start
When your breasts turn into
Self-inflating grapefruit
Tempting the touch
But so tender
That you want to scream
If anyone even looks at them the wrong way.

But as time passes
So does your dignity
While you trip, tumble and roll
Your cumbersome way
Through the next few months
Snatching sleep where you can
Though it is never enough
To keep the baby-growing mechanism inside you
Purring and contented.

As you move zeppelin-like
To the last stages
All your bodily functions explode
Sometimes literally
Till you become
A sniffling, spitting, belching, farting machine
With no control
No dignity
And seemingly no end in sight
(though it can’t be long now).

And then there’s the birth
They never say how much it hurts
When they’re selling the miracle myth
It’s no miracle,
Just hour upon hour of bloody hard work
To produce the result of a few moments’
(or months if you’re lucky) pleasure.
Moaning, groaning, screaming, sometimes swearing
While a medical football team
Peers up your fanny with a torch.

No, pregnancy is definitely not for ladies.
It’s not sugar and spice and everything nice,
Keep your legs crossed, and play nicely, dear
It’s raw, brutal, painful, almost animal
In its intensity
Though maybe
Just maybe
The baby
Is worth it.

(Originally published on RITRO)