An inconsequential knocking, that snowy Sunday morning, set into motion a chain of events that encouraged a positive change in the hearts of two disparate lives:
Suddenly alert; my wife observed (stoically silhouetted through an old curtained window) a past polemic antagonist waiting for a response.
Muttering tersely I asked: “is that who I think it is?”
This was a uniquely eccentric person who had redefined personal rejection by adapting dissonant surgical hardness towards anyone who threatened his transcendent character. Because of untold effronteries, there was, between them, an unapproachable gulf that had for years discouraged trust, or the type of open communication that could (very often) clear the hearts fragile soil of rocks and weeds.
The dogged knocking continued.
It appeared now that I would not be able to accomplish what I had set my mind on doing, nor would my beloved wife. It was unfair, and for a moment I felt incensed with the unwanted intrusion. Never once had we considered encroaching upon another’s privacy, and never had we appreciated those that appeared on our doorstep unannounced. An undesirable thing had become manifest and, with no way to circumvent it, I had to either move with the situation or reject it.
Grumbling irritably I prayed: “Please help me with this; I need wisdom and some kind of direction that is best for all.”
I was accosted at once by an intense shaft of LIGHT.
Being similar to an invisible sword; it pierced the bulwarks of my heart and began removing every quondam obstacle that I had allowed to take root there over the years. Rendered somewhat breathless, and now feeling gallingly timid, I began dealing with a host of carking voices palavering within me with erstwhile preconception. And while this war raged back and forth in my spirit, I sensed a stronghold of negative feelings, past heartache, disdain, grief, and repudiation cleaving from my stubborn heart.
“So, I guess we should do this then huh?” my wife sighed as she fluffed her hair. With a modicum of reluctance I agreed.
Words began as a taut trickle between brothers. Eager to unburden themselves from misunderstanding, festering emotion, cankered wounds, smoldering intolerance, and years of disdain; the openness between them began submitting to a higher purpose.
As it unfolded, two inordinately complex personalities became known; both of them with a childlike desire to be loved, understood, and accepted. Together they shared tales of rejection, confusion, acquisition, and unrealized dreams. Soon the conversation had become a flow of words releasing pure water streams over and around the moss laden rocks of years of indifference.
That morning faith sprang to the occasion as reams of sophistry, chunks of unresolved feelings, misunderstanding, broken dreams, anger, jealousy, and envy were extirpated to prepare the soil for new seeds and seasons between contrary souls now willing to repent and begin anew.
richard lloyd cederberg