Tag Archives: God

Quiet Time

I see You, God
in this morning-cerulean sky;

I feel You
in the sun illuminating
this frozen landscape.

I speak; You talk
and I hear You
in a breeze
that scatters from high limbs
tufts of snow —
little white angels fluttering and dancing
on currents.

In this season of withdrawal,
purity is born of introspection
and I taste the deepening connection in the

still

and the

quiet.

I sigh;
branches sway,
and I breathe in the fragrance of

Union

and wonder why I ever
turn away.

© 2008

The Dying Mother

It took a long time
For mother to die.

Everyone believed
She would go first,

With dad,
The last dirty-old-man,
Playing the field
Since he loved women.

Mother wore out the pages in her
Medical encyclopedia
To speed things up
On the highway
Of exotic diseases.

Before turning forty,
She had a hysterectomy
When cancer cells multiplied.

That didn’t help
Her state of mind.

Soon after that first surgery,
She left the Catholic Church
Becoming a Jehovah Witness
Getting ready to join God
Since death was eminent,
A heartbeat away.

After forty, a malignant tumor
The size of a grapefruit
Recruited an army in one her kidneys;
Like the Battle of the Bulge
During WWII,
That nasty Nazi,
A Hitler in disguise,
Was surrounded
And cut off from the rest of her body.
A rare encapsulated,
Parasitical alien life form without a visa
That the City of Hope’s doctors
Exorcised.

After Lola’s fiftieth, she asked
Her three children
What we wanted
From the house
Since death was close and
Father would outlive her to marry again.
I said, “I don’t want to talk about death.
Let’s take one day at a time
And enjoy what remains.”

My older sister and brother
Made out lists
Carting valuables home
Like picking flesh from
The carcass
While two hearts
Were still beating.

My dad died at seventy-nine
With a sour expression on his face
As he gasped his last.
The doctor told him,
“You quit smoking ten years too late.”
He was younger than her.

My brother took
Dad’s tools and the beloved Cadillac
Leaving it wrecked
Beside a road.

She cried a river of tears
After fifty-four years of marriage.
She missed dad.
I missed him too.
He was the quiet one
That listened.

Loneliness settled
Around mother like
A hot summer day
When it hurts to breathe
The scorched air
As one friend
After another
Left this earth
While she lived in that house
Alone in the desert
With her Bible
And five acres
Surrounded by a chain link fence
And sage brush
Two hundred miles from
My condo and job.

She told me once,
“In the mornings
Before I get out of bed
In this silent,
Empty house,
I forget how old I am.
I think I’m fourteen again,
But the mirror
Does not lie
And God
Is always nearby.”

At eighty-nine, cancer
Arrived one last time.
There was surgery
Removing the bleeding
Tumor in her intestines.
Mother lingered for
Two painful weeks
Screaming in agony,
Praying for an end to her story.

The call came during my
Fifth period English class
With students reading
The dramatic, tragic death scene
From Romeo and Juliet.

That day spelled an end
To more than one love story.
Sometimes death is a blessing.

I never told my students.
Let them find out
For themselves.
It’s better that way.

CONSIDER THE PARADOXES AND IRONIES OF LIFE

A proposition: I finally figured it out that the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.

The doctrine: I wish to propose for the reader’s favourable consideration a doctrine, which may, I fear, appear wildly paradoxical and subversive. The doctrine in question is this: that it is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatever for supposing its validity. Nevertheless, it is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.

The explanation: Remember that there is an objective reality out there, but we view it through the subjective spectacles of our beliefs, attitudes, and values. The human understanding is like a false mirror, which, receiving rays irregularly, distorts, and discolours the nature of things by mingling its own nature with it.

What is called reality or truth is in fact a sort of Rorschach inkblot, into which each culture, each system of science and religion, each type of personality, reads a meaning only remotely derived from the shape and colour of the blot itself.

However, for most people it is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled seas of thought. There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. We are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of our own minds.

They who joyfully march to music in rank-and-file have already earned my contempt. They have been given large brains by mistake, since for them the spinal cord would fully suffice. They that cannot reason are fools; they that will not are bigots; they that dare not are slaves. Nevertheless, even if you understand, things are as they are, and if you do not understand, things still are as they are. Also, beware of the person who knows the answer before he/she understands the question. Ask the young – they know everything.

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe. Stupidity is replicating itself at an astonishing rate. It breeds easily and is totally self-sustaining. Therefore, only two things in this universe are infinite, the universe itself and human stupidity, and I am not sure about the former.

One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen repeatedly; fear and laziness must be overcome continually. The true hero is the one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for people to see by. The saint is the one who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself/herself a light.

Suggested assertions: This is my simple religion: there is no need for churches, temples, mosques, or synagogues; no need for complicated theology and philosophy. Our own mind, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness and tolerance. A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.

Whatever you do, you first must do in your mind (your software), whose machinery is the brain (the hardware). The mind can do only what the brain is equipped to do, and so you must find out what kind of brain you have before you can understand your own behaviour, strengths, and limitations. Gnothi se auton – Know Thyself. The greatest discovery is that you can alter your life simply by altering your attitude of mind.

Physical law may explain the inorganic. Biology explains and accounts for the development of the organic, but of the point of contact, science is silent. A similar passage exists between the natural world and the spiritual world; this passage is hermetically sealed on the natural side. The door is closed; no human can open it, no organic change, no mental energy, no moral effort, no progress of any kind can enable any human being to enter the spiritual world.

However, if you open your mind, you can hear the celestial music. Nevertheless, always remember; a radio does not contain the music it plays. By breaking the radio’s aerial, you can stop the music, but you must realise that you have not killed the music; you have merely blocked the reception of it.

Hindu scriptures call this concept Anahad Shabad, or the Unstruck Music, and also Akash Bani XE “Akash Bani“, the Celestial Voice. Mohammedans call it Kalma XE “Kalma“, or Word, and Kalam-i-Ilali XE “Kalam-i-Ilali” , or Voice of God. Zoroaster (circa 628-551 BCE) spoke of it as Sraosha XE “Sraosha“, meaning ‘the Sound from the Sky’. The early Greek philosophers, who had learned the spiritual secrets of India, refer to it as the Logos XE “Logos“, while some call it ‘the Music of the Spheres‘. It is nothing less than ‘God’ in a state of dynamic-action. The Spirit is life. The mind is the builder. The physical is the result.

Just as your soul once was able to enter your body, it has the ability to incarnate again and again (in Sanskrit it is called metempsychosis and in Hebrew gilgolim or gilgul). It is like downloading software into the hardware of a computer; you can therefore ‘download’ more and more consciousness of your soul into the existing hardware that is your body.

We live in an unfathomable universe. All around us are mysteries that we cannot pretend to understand. Life is a tangle of complexities, the synergies about which we can only feebly guess. To survive this uncertainty, to prevent us from going insane with confusion, we automatically try to simplify life, the universe, and everything around us. We increasingly abstract, classify, and generalise our concepts of reality.

Now, my own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose. I have read and heard many attempts at a systematic account of it, from materialism and theosophy to the Christian system or that of Kant, and I have always felt that they were much too simple. I also know now that creation is too grand, complex, and mysterious to be captured in a narrow creed. That is why we cherish individual freedom of belief. Therefore, compare not the differences, but find the nexus where all the religions meet – there you will find only one God! The Great Absolute Spirit.

However, how does one define the Absolute? Even as we define or describe it, it slips from our grasp, for it ceases when defined to be the Absolute. Shall we then say that the Omnipotent, the Limitless, the Absolute, is logically speaking, absurd? For they are ideas that our reason cannot define? No, for could we define them, we should make them contained by our reason.

What the Absolute is, are not given to humans to know. We cannot say that we will believe when the Infinite shall have been explained, determined, circumscribed, described, and defined for our benefit – in one word, when the Infinite has become finite. Or that we will believe in the Infinite when we are sure that the Infinite does not exist?

Therefore, do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.

But after observation and analysis, when you find anything that agrees with reason, and/or intuition, and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. Scientists and educators alike need to realise that the educated person is not the person who can answer the questions, but the person who can question the answers.

Now in conclusion, my revised proposition: I do not know why we are here, but I am very sure that it is not only in order to enjoy ourselves.

Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love the truth.