Category Archives: Free Writing

Black Coffee

By Robert Lamb

The young waitress, a bottle blonde, was back again. “Made up your mind yet?” She sounded impatient and indifferent at the same time.

“Just coffee,” I told her. “Black. No cream.”

“I need something stronger,” Jenny said. “Do you serve wine?”

The waitress nodded, chewed gum, checked her nails. Red.

“Chardonnay,” Jenny said. “House is okay.”

The waitress, wordless, went away. Jenny studied the wall at my back, her solemn hazel eyes fixed on a pastel wallpaper. I studied Jenny studying the wall at my back. We were the only customers in the place.

“What?” she said, meeting my eyes at last, defiant, distraught.

“Nothing.”

“Well, it’s hard.”

I said I knew.

“No, you don’t. It’s not your mother.”

I said I knew whose mother it was. Jenny went back to staring at the wall.

Coffeecup_2 The waitress brought our drinks. She put the wine in front of me, the coffee — with cream — in front of Jenny, and left the bill on the edge of the table. The wine was a blush, not Chardonnay, but when I started to call the waitress back, Jenny stopped me. “Never mind,” she said.

Swapping drinks, I nodded toward the waitress. “Hope Miss Congeniality there doesn’t depend on tips for a living.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” I said.

Jenny sipped her wine. “I don’t think I can do it,” she said, a pink flush rising at her throat.

“Well, go back over there and tell them that.” I nodded toward a big gray building across the street.

“I just can’t,” she said, sipping again.

“Look, if you can’t, you can’t. They’ll understand. You won’t be the first who couldn’t do it.”

“I don’t see how anybody could do it.”

“I could do it. I could do it because it ought to be done. When a thing needs doing, it’s best to go on and do it.”

“I’m not like you.”

“Then don’t do it.”

“I’d hate myself if I did it.”

“Then don’t do it, for Christ’s sake. Go on over there and tell `em.”

“I’ll finish my wine first.” She sipped again. “Maybe if I drink enough of this I can do it.”

“Do it and then drink,” I said. “Then you’ll have a reason to drink.”

“I have a reason now. Will you order me another glass?”

“I read somewhere that memory and judgment are the first things clouded by alcohol.”

“Memory would be okay,” she said.

“Suit yourself.” I started to call for the waitress.

“Wait!” Jenny said. “You’re right. I need a clear head for this.” She pushed the glass away. It was still nearly full. “What time is it?”

“Two-thirty.” I signaled toward a big, white-faced clock on a nearby wall. You couldn’t miss it.

“How long did he say he’d be there?”

“Till three.”

She made a face. “Will you tell him for me?”

“Tell him what?”

“You know,” she said.

“No, I don’t know.”

She reached for my coffee. “Mind?”

I pushed the cup and saucer toward her. The cream, too. I didn’t use the stuff.

Stirring in the cream, she said, “It’s for the best, don’t you think?”

“What I think’s not important here,” I said.

She sipped the coffee, now a caramel-brown. “I can’t do it. She’s my mother.”

I reached for her wine. “All the more reason you should do it,” I said. “Should want to do it.”

“Was it this way with your mother?”

“No.”

“See.”

“Proves nothing.”

She shrugged. “You’re right. What time is it?”

I finished her wine while glancing at the clock. “Two minutes later than when you asked before.”

“Don’t be smart at a time like this.”

“Don’t be dumb at a time like this.”

She made a face again and heaved a sigh. “Okay. You’re right. I’ll do it.”

She started to get up. I thought I saw tears. “You sure?”

“I’m sure. As sure as I’ll ever be.” She got on up, smoothing wrinkles from her navy blue skirt as she rose.

I stood up, too. I left enough money on the table to cover the bill and give the waitress a good tip.

pedestal

now before she brings the whole body to me

the night is long in the meadow grass

without rays of light skin invisible of sex-kitten falling out of love

model of cryptic body symbol as revelation

just moon-walked into tantalizing famed position

her carnal crown rusting purple

breathing lust and aromas with her cheap surgical mask

and a wispy tone of voice asking to share my human side

with all the fears of potent harmonic motion permeated

the gatherings of blue shades

dark nights

when the black night imposes shadows comes across and clothes the opposite house

every minute is counted as temporal blindness of my innermost spirit

that refuses to post anthems and lamentations as it cuts the corners of my soul

and since darkness belongs to the domain of death floats narcotic to the distant dreams

to find new faces new masks new voices with arms of woman and myth of lips

crossing the bridges of shades and abstractions of forgotten memories

the trees have become souls, the street has become an absence of forms

now the rain comes and plays its inaudible aria sensual epilogues to the windows of the world

the night ,the night, her. i am in her arms for ever

unmarked stones

when the aegean sky bends its horizon to touch your hills and your mountain tops

no shine breathing life into your crevices expecting the low light surrogate

of your phospherized rainbows retired masterpieces of the opaque sand

words unfinished manuscripts ever -widening circles of melancholy to arrive.

progenitors of my metric life

touchstones without climax

a lavish heart raided by the wind

confiscated by your el greco beauty

constructions of light lyrical tones

recreating lucid pipe dreams

streaking away to the unknown journeys

rendering glowing sea waves with aqua purity

rasping sexographs of existentialistic resonances of self

and now the first shadows died

your sensuality an opening,a promise,a moira

a stone a cross of love

woman,sea,fire, all payments of heart with blood

and night and rain yet to come

Olympian Ode

where albatross rise and dive

in the deep solitude of dream world
where scent of spring unmasks clouds
in the Aegean blue
where butterflies elliptical
fly into a serpentine stream of gold

with limitless steps to every climb
painting ethereal corral grounds
where sea Sirens sing Delphi oaths
seeking mirage of gods and goats
beyond the beauty to conceal
skin storm- driven passion play
of stone gaze and light images of lust and clay

Warrior of Light – Issue no. 201 – The Magic Instant

We have to take risks. We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself.

Every day — together with the sun — God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant. It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. This moment exists — a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles.

Happiness is at times a blessing — but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment — but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith.

Poor are those who are afraid of running risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue. But when they look back — for we always look back — they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it. So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.”

Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed.

We must listen to the child that we once were, and who still lives within us. This child understands about magic instants. We can muffle his sobbing, but we can’t hush his voice.

If we aren’t reborn, if we don’t see life again with the innocence and enthusiasm of childhood, then there is no more sense to living.

There are many ways to commit suicide. Those who try to kill their body offend God’s law. Those who try to kill their soul also offend God’s law, although their crime is less visible to the eyes of man.

Let us be heedful of what the child within us has to say. Let’s not feel ashamed of it. Let’s not allow it to feel afraid, because it’s lonely and is scarcely ever heard.

Let’s allow the child within us to take the reins of our existence a little. This child says that one day is different from another.

Let’s make the child feel loved again. Let’s please this child — even if it means acting in a way that we’re not used to, even if it seems foolish in the eyes of others.

Remember that the wisdom of men is madness before God. If we listen to the child we bear in our soul, our eyes will shine once more. If we don’t lose contact with this child, we won’t lose contact with life.

Let’s live all the magic instants of 2009!

Love

There is always someone in the world waiting for someone else, whether in the middle of the desert or in the heart of some big city. And when these two people’s paths cross and their eyes meet, the whole of the past and the whole of the future lose all importance, and there only exists that moment and that incredible certainty that everything under the Sun was written by the very same Hand. The Hand that awakens Love and creates a sister soul for everyone who works, rests and seeks treasures under the Sun. Were it not for this, the dreams of the human race would make no sense.

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Warrior of Light – Issue no. 200 – Animal Promiscuity

Recently I read an interesting polemic article in the American newspaper New York Times (25/03/2008). Written by Natalie Angier, the text is based on the research of prominent biologists and psychologists concerning monogamy. The conclusion that they reach is impressive: conjugal infidelity is present throughout the animal kingdom.

And that’s not all: studies have shown that certain species “pay” for sex, while others reward their “lovers” with presents and affection. To complete the picture, jealousy and machismo are also to be found there: females are violently attacked if they copulate with another partner.

Of course we are not animals, but the similarities mentioned above are very revealing. Some of the more interesting parts of the article are worth transcribing.

1] Many species are raised from a very tender age to marry someone chosen by the family. They fly and play together, they sing and dance together. In other words, they are raised to impress the community with proof that they were born for one another.

2] Nevertheless, social monogamy is rarely accompanied by sexual monogamy. DNA tests carried out on monkeys, birds and wild animals, when their descendency is examined in the light of modern science, show that between 10% and 70% of the offspring was fathered by someone other than the resident male.

3] Professor David Barash of the University of Washington in Seattle states that: “in the infantile world, infancy. In the adult world, adultery”. For a long time, swans were believed to be a model of fidelity. Through such DNA tests, it has been concluded that not even swans are immune to temptation.

4] The only completely monogamous species is an amoeba – Diplozoon Paradoxum — which is found in organisms of certain fish. Barash explains: “male and female meet while still young, and their bodies literally merge as one. From then on, they are faithful until death do them part”. In this case, death coincides with that of the fish that shelters them.

5] The “oldest profession in the world”, as prostitution is known, is also present in the animal kingdom. It is common to find males that shower their females with presents: rodents, caterpillars and insects. But when the same male decides to have, shall we say, an extracurricular affair, the lover receives better presents than the companion.

6] The law of competition also applies to the animal world: if supply is great, the price comes down. However, if there is a shortage of females, they become objects of desire that deserve the best and most sophisticated rewards.

Please understand that I have transcribed in this column the result of research conducted by scientists and psychologists specialized in studying animals. All of us can — and should — have our own opinion with respect to monogamy. We can all say that we are a highly evolved species, which is absolutely true. The only thing that we can’t do is to blame science for showing results that often contradict our way of thinking!
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