“John, you look really angry today; what’s on
your mind?”
“Oh Doctor … I feel so maligned. People make
fun of me behind my back. They don’t understand
me … they don’t understand how I suffer. I feel so
alone in this world.”
“I see … has this been going on long?
“About two years now.”
“Do you remember the circumstances in your
life when this began; where you were and what
you were doing?”
“No Doctor I don’t; my memory is not good.
All I know is that now I feel alone, I feel so alone.
I have an ache inside from loneliness that never goes
away. I feel ugly, I feel worthless; no one understands
me. I feel like such a loser! Am I loosing my mind?”
“It’s doubtful. Perhaps, though, your feelings are
deceiving you.”
“What!? How can my feelings be deceiving me?
It’s the way I feel; like nobody gives a crap!”
“Have you ever tried getting out of yourself … you
know; giving of your resources and talents to help others?
Perhaps doing this occasionally would be salutary and
allow you to see yourself from other perspectives. You’ve
heard the old saying that it’s ‘better to give than to receive’?”
“Now why would I want to do that!? No one respects
me, no one helps me, why should I give them anything?”
“Helping others, and giving to others, changes your
focus. And in so doing you empower a loving spirit to
affect what you are doing and those you are doing it for.
It also affects how you feel about yourself.”
“Well … I’ll tell you; I feel like crap about myself!
Nobody gives me anything – so why should I ever
consider offering something to them?”
“Someone has to have the courage to start the
process. And it’s a known fact that after doing
so it gains momentum by itself. Anyone can be
critical of others and alienated. Remember; there
is no defense against love, or a kind and wise
hand extended.”
“I don’t get it … why the hell should it be my
duty to give somebody else something they’re not
giving me?”
“Perhaps because you’re the one complaining.
You have a burden that something is wrong and
you’re the one looking for answers; this is a good
thing. You’ve had a revelation of sorts. Suffering
changes our perspective! When you see someone
who needs help just offer it to them; you’ll feel better!”
“Oh yah right! I’m the one that’s hurting, and instead
of getting what I need, you want me to help everyone
around me that’s hurting? All people want is their egos
stroked. Nobody suffers the way I do!”
“I can understand! I would say, though, that the ones
who really don’t care would never have the guts to initiate
changes as you seem to be trying to do here. Still though;
you can always forsake your God given gifts and crawl
into an emotional tomb and live there for the rest of your
life; it is an option you know, and a lot of the world does
just that.”
“Are you trying to tell me that it’s somehow Gods will
for humans to be subjected to emotional and physical
tribulation and affliction?”
“I cannot elucidate on God’s plan for this world, or its
inhabitants. Let me ask you this though; in your lifetime
have you ever known one person to have escaped it?”
“Escaped what?”
“Struggles and suffering!”
“No, I have not! As a matter of fact, I don’t know anyone
who doesn’t struggle in their lives. But so what; my struggles
are different. If people could just understand that little fact
they would see how special I am and give me the respect and
attention that I deserve.”
“I understand your thought but everyone is special, and
all have unique abilities. Even grains of sand and snowflakes
are different from one another. The ones who struggle and
suffer physically – a thorn in the flesh if you will – do so for
humilities sake. This keeps them aware, and humble, and
hopefully pointed in the right direction.”
“Whataya mean the right direction?”
“If we never struggled with challenges beyond our ability
to solve, we would never grow, we would never seek God,
and we would easily wander off the paths that we’ve been
given to walk.”
“I don’t believe in God!”
“You don’t!? What do you believe in?”
“I believe in me. I believe in my inherent goodness.
If people could just see that, life would be so different
For me. If only people could understand how terrific
I am. Besides … God doesn’t care about me. No one
knows my unique circumstances. I have physical and
emotional problems Doctor; I am not whole. I have aches
and pains that never go away. I can’t seem to find anybody
to love; someone that will love me, and who accepts me
for what I am, and is satisfied with that. Seems everyone
looks for something wrong in me, and they always seem
to find it. Then they dump on me or bad mouth me, or
gossip behind my back. I have trouble with finances; I never
seem to have enough. Like today – I don’t know how I’m
going to pay you for this session; I’m broke. I have lost my
faith in human beings. Most of the time they say one thing
and mean another; I hate them. Please help me Doctor,
what can I do?”
“Well … thank-you for your honesty, but let’s discuss this
another time ok; seems your time is up. Talk to my secretary;
she’ll give you a pamphlet that might help. Let me know when
you get some work; have a great and productive week OK?
Take care! Sheila, would you send in my next appointment!”