Monthly Archives: March 2008

Serenity (Tanka)

Earth’s most perfect spot
wings, serenity and peace
victor over pain
deep belief in love prevails
vicious dragons will be slain

Hello Friends,

I composed the above Tanka for a friend of mine a while back. She needed a place to curl up and to find comfort. Since we live several thousand miles apart, I could give her comfort only in verse.
I would like to offer it to anyone in need of a little serenity.

Would you like to know more about my work? I will be on Blog Talk Radio today, Tuesday, March 25th, 4:30p.m. EST speaking with host Rita Schiano. You will find us here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/rita

Have a wonderful day!
Rebecca Lerwill
www.rebeccalerwill.com

 

Living in Limbo

He thought he had made up his mind,

just as he thought dozens of times in the past.

Make a decision, then stick with it.

The old adage echoed through the canyon of his mind.

Damned if you do,

damned if you don’t,

was his halfhearted reply.

Comfortable existing numbly in limbo,

attachment had become a powerful drug.

Excerpt from second book in the series: Amber Shadows and the Crystal Locket

Foreword

“She’s living the life of an ordinary fourteen-year-old!” was not what many would say, or even think of saying in passing conversation about Amber Shadows. For you see she was an extraordinary White Magic witch-in-training. Flowing, dark red hair caressed her oval face, her eyes of emerald enchanted those curious about her, and one ruby stud earring in her left ear was never taken out while a chandelier earring dangled from her right. And while she often wondered what it would have been like to experience school dances or un-chaperoned parties, she remained exclusively interested in reading about the unknown and things that she could do magically by experimenting. Above all, journeying beyond her imagination to fantastical places while reading her treasured, fictional books was something she held close to heart.

It was Amber’s fondness for the written word that drove her to writing her unusual experiences in a leather-bound journal. And just as Jocelyn’s journals, this was no ordinary journal Amber kept: faerie wings of rich crimson and emerald hues adorned its front cover; silvery glitter etched her name on the back of the book in a medieval font, and inside were pages filled with sketches and her thoughts. There was only one thing that made this journal different from others (including Jocelyn’s) . . . the pages were enchanted with an invisibility charm.

As soon as Amber was done writing her entries, the ink would instantly dry and disappear upon her closing the book. Anyone trying to read her diary would find empty pages and be naïve to the fact that Amber placed an invisibility charm on its contents that only she could release and seal with a wave of her hand.

Unlike most other households, the Shadows family did not own a telephone and they watched very little television on a small, black and white T.V set.

Owing to the fact that the Shadows did not communicate by telephone, when it came time to send messages the Shadows family used Zappy, the family tabby. He was quite exceptional in that he could transpose into wizard form when need be, and could appear and disappear as he pleased by vapor. This ability made his journeys quite easy when Amber sent him with messages to Marianna Wentworth or Jasper Silverton; her two best friends since the age of five.

Amber, Marianna, and Jasper were as close as three mates could be and were now starting their eighth grade school year. From time to time, several classmates from Candlebury Junior High stared at them as they passed by and made obnoxious wisecracks to whoever was standing in listening range:

“Isn’t it strange how Shadows, Wentworth, and Silverton never attend school functions on the weekends?” a black haired boy with eyes of coal said sarcastically.

Others nodded, pointed, and laughed while the leader of the cheerleading group smirked in reply, “Yeah, they never go out of their way to initiate conversation or make friends either . . . strange is what they are; those three.”

Even though these rude comments happened nearly every day, they got under Jasper’s skin and made Marianna throw daggering glares and think nasty thoughts. Amber learned to brush them off by simply rolling her eyes. And although she grew tiresome of the same routine, she’d pull Jasper and Marianna along; reminding them for the umpteenth time, “Ignore them . . . what goes around comes around. Obviously they have nothing better to do with their time.”

Although this advice took several days for Marianna and Jasper to grasp and practice, they managed to grow thick skin and ignore their ill-mannered classmates, thinking of them as nothing more than sour, outdated milk. When it appeared no one could get a rise out of the three mates, those hanging around the school courtyard stopped staring and whispering unfound rumors.

As school progressed through September, all three mates kept their noses happily buried in some type of Advanced White Magic book (hidden by their text books of course). They ate and studied away from everyone else so that they could chat about anything unusual happening in the Magian world, and after dinner each night, they practiced their Magia Sessions homework: White Magic Spells and Healing Potions.

Of the three, Amber had an unbelievable quirk of craving and memorizing knowledge of magical spells right from the off, a curious nature to extensively study the unknown, and a raw talent for using her endowment of White Magic when needed without referencing her text books.

The Mystic Muse

The Mystic Muse

Soaring in and out of the rainbow colors in my mind;

Sprinkling stardust ideas; calling on image-breezes;

Spinning the word mill at Spirit-to-Spirit confluence;

Swaying suggestions on branches of composition tree;

Slowly dripping teardrop thoughts from sprigs of Weeping Willow;

Raining down joyful verse from our nimbostratus mindscape;

Pounding out anxious rhythms on a spring Grouse’s thunder;

Skipping across chakras; alighting mandalic labyrinths;

Whisking me away to creative realms of All-That-Is.

© 2008

Your lap, Your Chinese Checkers

The little eggshell bungalow
sporting the racket-making swing,
pink and blue hydrangeas
big as conch shells
and a woman who knew
a child needed
– to be held — to be fed –
– to be sat in a corner –
– to be let out to dream
in the shade of a sweet-smelling
magnolia –
The little eggshell bungalow
that never moved
that never changed
the child knew
– that however long the wait,
would smell of sweet milk,
sugar, butter, Johnson’s wax,
and lavender sachet –
– big pillowed rockers
and wide, rust-chained swing –
– cuppa-sugar lemonade
to cool a child
got too much sun…
Never, ever, picture a giant
bulldozer laying flat
a little eggshell bungalow
to make room for
anonymous.
– woman a knowing ghost –

(c) Phyllis Jean Green, March, 2008

http://www.authorphyllisjeangreen.com {new!}

Preview of "Fatal Addiction"

Review of Fatal Addiction


The Current Title – How catchy is it? How well does it convey the information in the manuscript?

“Fatal Addiction” is a compelling title for this story, and a nice play on words for ‘fatal attraction.’

The Current Synopsis – How catchy is it? Does it intrigue?

You might want to look at some suggestions that I’ve made to your synopsis. The point of this piece of writing is to show the reader (the publisher) what your story is about so that they can decide if it’s something that they’re likely to read and publish. You want to summarize the contents of the story as well as introduce the main characters. But you will want to avoid talking about your book as though you were giving a book report – show your creativity so that you can stand out from the other manuscripts that a publisher will receive.

The Current Length of the Work – Is it appropriate for the target market?

Normally, a publisher will want to know the word count, so be sure to determine that. Right now, it seems to be the proper length for a novel submission.

What is the power of the opening 3-5 sentences?

This is a fantastic way to begin. You have the reader in a spellbinding description of an execution, which makes them want to know more about what happens next.

Dialogue (if any) – Describe and comment.

My only concern with your dialogue is that it’s not entirely clear who is speaking at any given time. You want to make sure that your reader can open up your book at any point and know how many people are talking. In this section, it almost seems that you have three people speaking, but I don’t think that’s true. You can clear this up by including some references to the speaker or by keeping the words spoken by one character together.

Mechanics – Grammar:

Your grammar is excellent, consistent, and concise.

Mechanics – Spelling:

I did not notice any spelling errors.

Mechanics – Punctuation:

The punctuation looked fine to me.

Mechanics – Formatting:

I will attach the current formatting guidelines for a novel submission.

Is there a need for illustrations? (Children’s, non-fiction, etc.)

N/A

Other / Conclusion

I was absolutely spellbound by this manuscript. You have created interesting and believable characters that go through ‘real life’ struggles that anyone can relate to – drug history or not. I think that you genuinely understand how to portray human nature and all of its misgivings, instead of trying to use it to ‘make’ a story. This is a story that unfolds on its own – almost as though it’s writing itself as a reader reads it.

Well done and good luck!

Other work by this author:

You Love Me

You love me – you say
in your arms I sway
because your eyes don’t lie
and I close mine with a sigh.

You need me – you say
letting your fingers play
and your lips whisper an oath
a promise to be kept by us both.

You want me – you say
unclaimed passion every day
under my skin white as snow
the fast vibration of my pulse’s flow.

You take me – you say
and keep me, I pray
beyond the sky you allow
for my desire to grow
and you will never betray
because you love me………you say. Continue reading You Love Me