Roughing It

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CHAPTER LXVII. The Legislature of the Island--What Its President Has Seen--Praying for an Enemy--Women's Rights--Romantic Fashions--Worship of the Shark--Desire for Dress--Full Dress--Not Paris Style--Playing Empire--Officials and Foreign Ambassadors--Overwhelming Magnificence

CHAPTER LXVIII. A Royal Funeral--Order of Procession--Pomp and Ceremony--A Striking Contrast--A Sick Monarch--Human Sacrifices at His Death--Burial Orgies

CHAPTER LXIX. "Once more upon the Waters."--A Noisy Passenger--Several Silent Ones--A Moonlight Scene--Fruits and Plantations

CHAPTER LXX. A Droll Character--Mrs. Beazely and Her Son--Meditations on Turnips--A Letter from Horace Greeley--An Indignant Rejoinder--The Letter Translated but too Late

CHAPTER LXXI. Kealakekua Bay--Death of Captain Cook--His Monument--Its Construction--On Board the Schooner

CHAPTER LXXII. Young Kanakas in New England--A Temple Built by Ghosts--Female Bathers--I Stood Guard--Women and Whiskey--A Fight for Religion--Arrival of Missionaries

CHAPTER LXXIII. Native Canoes--Surf Bathing--A Sanctuary--How Built--The Queen's Rock --Curiosities--Petrified Lava

CHAPTER LXXIV. Visit to the Volcano--The Crater--Pillar of Fire--Magnificent Spectacle --A Lake of Fire

CHAPTER LXXV. The North Lake--Fountains of Fire--Streams of Burning Lava--Tidal Waves

CHAPTER LXXVI. A Reminiscence--Another Horse Story--My Ride with the Retired Milk Horse --A Picnicing Excursion--Dead Volcano of Holeakala--Comparison with Vesuvius--An Inside View

CHAPTER LXXVII. A Curious Character--A Series of Stories--Sad Fate of a Liar--Evidence of Insanity

CHAPTER LXXVIII. Return to San Francisco--Ship Amusements--Preparing for Lecturing --Valuable Assistance Secured--My First Attempt--The Audience Carried --"All's Well that Ends Well."

CHAPTER LXXIX. Highwaymen--A Predicament--A Huge Joke--Farewell to California--At Home Again--Great Changes. Moral.

APPENDIX. A.--Brief Sketch of Mormon History B.--The Mountain Meadows Massacre C.--Concerning a Frightful Assassination that was never Consummated


My brother had just been appointed Secretary of Nevada Territory--an office of such majesty that it concentrated in itself the duties and dignities of Treasurer, Comptroller, Secretary of State, and Acting Governor in the Governor's absence. A salary of eighteen hundred dollars a year and the title of "Mr. Secretary," gave to the great position an air of wild and imposing grandeur. I was young and ignorant, and I envied my brother. I coveted his distinction and his financial splendor, but particularly and especially the long, strange journey he was going to make, and the curious new world he was going to explore. He was going to travel! I never had been away from home, and that word "travel" had a seductive charm for me. Pretty soon he would be hundreds and hundreds of miles away on the great plains and deserts, and among the mountains of the Far West, and would see buffaloes and Indians, and prairie dogs, and antelopes, and have all kinds of adventures, and may be get hanged or scalped, and have ever such a fine time, and write home and tell us all about it, and be a hero. And he would see the gold mines and the silver mines, and maybe go about of an afternoon when his work was done, and pick up two or three pailfuls of shining slugs, and nuggets of gold and silver on the hillside. And by and by he would become very rich, and return home by sea, and be able to talk as calmly about San Francisco and the ocean, and "the isthmus" as if it was nothing of any consequence to have seen those marvels face to face. What I suffered in contemplating his happiness, pen cannot describe. And so, when he offered me, in cold blood, the sublime position of private secretary under him, it appeared to me that the heavens and the earth passed away, and the firmament was rolled together as a scroll! I had nothing more to desire. My contentment was complete.

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