The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

thing is for you to treat him KIND, and not be saying things to make him
remember he ain't in his own country and amongst his own folks."

I says to myself, THIS is a girl that I'm letting that old reptle rob her
of her money!

Then Susan SHE waltzed in; and if you'll believe me, she did give
Hare-lip hark from the tomb!

Says I to myself, and this is ANOTHER one that I'm letting him rob her of
her money!

Then Mary Jane she took another inning, and went in sweet and lovely
again--which was her way; but when she got done there warn't hardly
anything left o' poor Hare-lip.  So she hollered.

"All right, then," says the other girls; "you just ask his pardon."

She done it, too; and she done it beautiful.  She done it so beautiful it
was good to hear; and I wished I could tell her a thousand lies, so she
could do it again.

I says to myself, this is ANOTHER one that I'm letting him rob her of her
money.  And when she got through they all jest laid theirselves out to
make me feel at home and know I was amongst friends.  I felt so ornery
and low down and mean that I says to myself, my mind's made up; I'll hive
that money for them or bust.

So then I lit out--for bed, I said, meaning some time or another.  When I
got by myself I went to thinking the thing over.  I says to myself, shall
I go to that doctor, private, and blow on these frauds?  No--that won't
do. He might tell who told him; then the king and the duke would make it
warm for me.  Shall I go, private, and tell Mary Jane?  No--I dasn't do
it. Her face would give them a hint, sure; they've got the money, and
they'd slide right out and get away with it.  If she was to fetch in help
I'd get mixed up in the business before it was done with, I judge.  No;
there ain't no good way but one.  I got to steal that money, somehow; and
I got to steal it some way that they won't suspicion that I done it.
They've got a good thing here, and they ain't a-going to leave till
they've played this family and this town for all they're worth, so I'll
find a chance time enough. I'll steal it and hide it; and by and by, when
I'm away down the river, I'll write a letter and tell Mary Jane where
it's hid.  But I better hive it tonight if I can, because the doctor
maybe hasn't let up as much as he lets on he has; he might scare them out
of here yet.

So, thinks I, I'll go and search them rooms.  Upstairs the hall was dark,
but I found the duke's room, and started to paw around it with my hands;
but I recollected it wouldn't be much like the king to let anybody else
take care of that money but his own self; so then I went to his room and
begun to paw around there.  But I see I couldn't do nothing without a
candle, and I dasn't light one, of course.  So I judged I'd got to do the
other thing--lay for them and eavesdrop.  About that time I hears their
footsteps coming, and was going to skip under the bed; I reached for it,
but it wasn't where I thought it would be; but I touched the curtain that
hid Mary Jane's frocks, so I jumped in behind that and snuggled in
amongst the gowns, and stood there perfectly still.

They come in and shut the door; and the first thing the duke done was to
get down and look under the bed.  Then I was glad I hadn't found the bed
when I wanted it.  And yet, you know, it's kind of natural to hide under
the bed when you are up to anything private.  They sets down then, and
the king says:

"Well, what is it?  And cut it middlin' short, because it's better for us
to be down there a-whoopin' up the mournin' than up here givin' 'em a
chance to talk us over."

"Well, this is it, Capet.  I ain't easy; I ain't comfortable.  That
doctor lays on my mind.  I wanted to know your plans.  I've got a notion,
and I think it's a sound one."

"What is it, duke?"

"That we better glide out of this before three in the morning, and clip
it down the river with what we've got.  Specially, seeing we got it so
easy--GIVEN back to us, flung at our heads, as you may say, when of
course we allowed to have to steal it back.  I'm for knocking off and
lighting out."

That made me feel pretty bad.  About an hour or two ago it would a been a
little different, but now it made me feel bad and disappointed, The king
rips out and says:

"What!  And not sell out the rest o' the property?  March off like a
passel of fools and leave eight or nine thous'n' dollars' worth o'
property layin' around jest sufferin' to be scooped in?--and all good,
salable stuff, too."

The duke he grumbled; said the bag of gold was enough, and he didn't want
to go no deeper--didn't want to rob a lot of orphans of EVERYTHING they
had.

"Why, how you talk!" says the king.  "We sha'n't rob 'em of nothing at
all but jest this money.  The people that BUYS the property is the
suff'rers; because as soon 's it's found out 'at we didn't own it--which
won't be long after we've slid--the sale won't be valid, and it 'll all
go back to the estate.  These yer orphans 'll git their house back agin,
and that's enough for THEM; they're young and spry, and k'n easy earn a
livin'.  THEY ain't a-goin to suffer.  Why, jest think--there's thous'n's